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  • Writer's pictureKate Bradshaw

Learning Resilience

Following up on our last blog acknowledging National Carers Week, today's blog is all about resilience which is an essential skill and trait that Carers need everyday.

Resilience is our ability to adapt and bounce back when things don't go as planned.

​​If you have never experienced challenges in your life, you don't know how strong you can be.

A resilient person doesn't give up or fall apart every time something bad happens to them. They work through the problem, and are stronger because of it. It sometimes requires choosing between being a victim or deciding to take ​control of the things you can.

In this blog, we'll examine resilience: what it is, why we need it, and how to develop it

If water was poured into a cup every time something bad happened to you, what would eventually happen? The cup would overflow?

Being resilient means that you know different ways to empty that cup. It means that you have the ability to deal with the problems in your life. Everyone has problems, and everyone also has the potential to be resilient.

The good news is that even if you're not a naturally resilient person, you can learn to develop a resilient mindset and attitude. To do so, try to incorporate the following into your daily life:

  • Get enough sleep and exercise, and learn to manage stress. When you take care of your mind and body, you're better able to cope effectively with challenges in your life.

  • Practice thought awareness, resilient people don't let negative thoughts derail their efforts. Instead, they consistently practice positive thinking. Also, "listen" to how you talk to yourself when something goes wrong – if you find yourself making statements that are permanent, pervasive or personalised, correct these thoughts in your mind.

  • Practice Re-framing, this is the ability to change the way you think about negative events and bad situations.

  • Learn from your mistakes, every mistake has the power to teach you something important; so don't stop searching until you've found the lesson in every situation. Start by asking questions such as; why didn't this work or what would I do different next time, to help you find answers.

  • Choose your response, remember, we all experience bad days and we all go through our share of difficult situations. It's important to remember, we have a choice in how we respond; we can choose to react negatively or in a panic, or we can choose to remain calm and logical to find a solution. Your reaction is always up to you.

  • Maintain perspective, resilient people understand that, although a situation or event may seem overwhelming in the moment, it's impact may well lessen over time and be negligible in the scheme of things. Try to avoid blowing events out of proportion.

  • Build your self confidence, remember, resilient people are confident that they're going to succeed eventually, despite the setbacks or stresses that they might be facing. This belief in themselves also enables them to take risks: when you develop confidence and a strong sense of self, you have the strength to keep moving forward, and to take the risks you need to get ahead.

  • Develop strong relationships, with your friends and colleagues at work. People who have strong connections at work are more resistant to stress, and they're happier in their role. This also goes for your personal life: the more real friendships you develop, the more resilient you're going to be, because you have a strong support network to fall back on.

  • Focus on being flexible, resilient people understand that things change, and that carefully-made plans may, occasionally, need to be amended or scrapped.

Everyone has problems, and everyone also has the potential to be resilient. The following suggestions may also help you prevent your cup from overflowing:

  • Practice healthy coping skills

  • Take care of yourself emotionally

  • Find thankfulness

  • Recognise the victories in your life

  • Improve your self-esteem

  • Challenge yourself. Control what you can. Instead of being overwhelmed by your circumstances, find small things that you can do to make the situation better. Those little things can add up and make a world of difference

  • Don't be so hard on yourself. Learn from your mistakes. Everyone makes them. Don't allow yourself to obsess or feel over-burdened by guilt

  • Identify supportive people in your life

  • Try new things. When we open ourselves up to new possibilities, we get a broader and clearer perspective on life

  • Take a break. Give yourself time to de-stress and regroup

These skills can help build resiliency and will eventually become a habit if you start practising them now. They can also help you to get through the dark times so you can truly appreciate the many joys that always lie ahead.

The fact is that we're going to fail from time to time: it's an inevitable part of living that we make mistakes and occasionally fall flat on our faces. The only way to avoid this is to live a shuttered and sheltered existence, never trying anything new or taking a risk. Few of us want a life like that!

Instead, we should have the courage to go after our dreams, despite the very real risk that we'll fail in some way or other. Being resilient means that when we do fail, we bounce back, we have the strength to learn the lessons we need to learn, and we can move on to bigger and better things.

Overall, resilience gives us the power to overcome setbacks , so that we can live the life we've always imagined.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back when things don't go as planned. You can develop resilience in several ways. First, take care to exercise regularly and get enough sleep, so that you can control stress more easily. The stronger you feel physically and emotionally, the easier it is for you to overcome challenges.

Focus on thinking positively, and try to learn from the mistakes you make. Build strong relationships with colleagues and friends, so that you have a support network to fall back on. Also, set specific and achievable personal goals that match your values, and work on building your self-confidence.

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